About 4 years ago my life changed forever. I had moved to Waukon, IA and was working in Decorah, IA as an Asst. Manager at one of the Subways. The manager was Mike who I renamed troll. The first month of working was fine then the area rep for Subway came by and noticed the store was cleaner. The day girl told him there was a new girl named Meegan working and she is cleaning the store up and making employees work. He said that I was doing a great job and wanted to meet me. That's when troll changed into a huge a**hole, he thought I was going to go after his job. I had already told him I did not want to be manager I was happy just being an Asst. I already had 10 years experience in managing Subways even multiple locations at once so I was qualified to take his job and could have easily gotten him fired but I didn't want it! When I took the job it was only going to be for a little while long enough for me to save money to move to the Netherlands. I was in love with the man of my dreams and was going to move there to be with him.
Anyway back to the troll and drama....He knew exactly why I was hired and what my position was since he was invited in on my 2nd interview. But he would tell the employees "oh you don't have to listen to her she is not asst manager" but while I was there when he was it was the opposite. That whole store was just a huge disaster many many things going on that have nothing to do with the Subway brand but could have easily gotten that Subway shutdown and given Subway a bad rap around that area anyway. So I was working 6 to 7 days a week with this team of employees who didn't know if they were coming or going and didn't know if they could trust what I was saying since I was the new girl. Oh and also he said during my interview with him and our boss that he was going to be the good cop and I would be that bad cop. Fine with me I have no problems standing up to people and having to be the mean one at times. So I was getting stressed and absolutely hated going to work everyday but always reminded myself it was for a short while.
I guess I wasn't managing the stress very well because I started feeling light headed all of the time and felt like my heart was racing super fast and I couldn't breathe. And as I was driving to work it would get worse and my arms would start going numb. I would have to leave for work and hour before start time in case I had to pull over to compose myself to be able to drive the rest of the way. Then I got this massive killer headache that lasted for 3 weeks and it hurt so bad I literally just wanted the back of my head to blow off all i would do is cry it hurt so bad. Finally one day I was getting in the shower to get ready for work and I thought I was going to pass out so I got out of the shower and called the Dr's Office and got right in. I was scared and alone in this town and not knowing what was going on with me and she couldn't find anything wrong. She handed me a card for the local Iowa Mental Health so I could talk to a therapist and I looked at her and said "I am not crazy!" the whole time at the Dr's I was crying because I was freaked out. She told me I was having anxiety attacks and gave me a prescription. I took the prescription for 3 days then I woke up on a Saturday and I couldn't see or read emails. I had to stick my face right in front of the computer to read them. I called the Dr's office and told her what was going on she switched my script and told me if my eyes don't get better to go see the eye Dr.
Two weeks later eyes were still not better my headaches were starting to fade away but still the anxiety or whatever it is. I made an appointment to go to the eye Dr. I went in filled out the paper work since I was new there and got in I saw the eye Dr and he started his exam then said he needed me to do a field test. That is where you look in the machine and you have a clicker and tell them or click when you see the dot. It tests your vision field. I did that and they kept making me wait and wait and I overheard him saying to the receptionist is she still here you didn't let her leave did you? I was like oh no and started freaking out a bit. He finally called me back in he looked into my eyes and said my optic nerve was extremely elevated and something was causing pressure in my head so I needed to go to the ER immediately and find out what was wrong.
When he told me that I flipped out and started crying almost uncontrollably and the poor Dr was lie oh no I'm sure its ok but you have to get it checked out! I told him I was sorry for crying but that my mom has a brain tumor and that's why I flipped out. In my head I immediately went to I have a tumor and just freaked. I texted my boyfriend at the time and told him what was going on he met me at the eye Dr's office and took me to the ER.
The people at the ER were very nice but kind of didn't know what to do so they did a CAT scan and took a ton of blood and tested me for a ton of things. The CAT scan came back and there was nothing there except some areas of extra spinal fluid around my brain. The blood tests were all normal except I was anemic which I have been since I was 15. The ER Dr wanted to do a spinal tap which freaked me out because on TV and in the movies they make it out to be the most painful thing. I wouldn't let them do one I asked them "If I promise to go to my regular Dr and tell them whats happening and they get me into a neurologist can I go home?" He told me yes so I went home and the next day I went to my regular Dr who made me an appointment to see a neurologist the following day.
Ok this is part 1 I have anxiety and while I thought writing a blog would help at the moment recalling all of this causes anxiety and panic attacks so this will be a slow process of blogging/journaling everything.
Anyway back to the troll and drama....He knew exactly why I was hired and what my position was since he was invited in on my 2nd interview. But he would tell the employees "oh you don't have to listen to her she is not asst manager" but while I was there when he was it was the opposite. That whole store was just a huge disaster many many things going on that have nothing to do with the Subway brand but could have easily gotten that Subway shutdown and given Subway a bad rap around that area anyway. So I was working 6 to 7 days a week with this team of employees who didn't know if they were coming or going and didn't know if they could trust what I was saying since I was the new girl. Oh and also he said during my interview with him and our boss that he was going to be the good cop and I would be that bad cop. Fine with me I have no problems standing up to people and having to be the mean one at times. So I was getting stressed and absolutely hated going to work everyday but always reminded myself it was for a short while.
I guess I wasn't managing the stress very well because I started feeling light headed all of the time and felt like my heart was racing super fast and I couldn't breathe. And as I was driving to work it would get worse and my arms would start going numb. I would have to leave for work and hour before start time in case I had to pull over to compose myself to be able to drive the rest of the way. Then I got this massive killer headache that lasted for 3 weeks and it hurt so bad I literally just wanted the back of my head to blow off all i would do is cry it hurt so bad. Finally one day I was getting in the shower to get ready for work and I thought I was going to pass out so I got out of the shower and called the Dr's Office and got right in. I was scared and alone in this town and not knowing what was going on with me and she couldn't find anything wrong. She handed me a card for the local Iowa Mental Health so I could talk to a therapist and I looked at her and said "I am not crazy!" the whole time at the Dr's I was crying because I was freaked out. She told me I was having anxiety attacks and gave me a prescription. I took the prescription for 3 days then I woke up on a Saturday and I couldn't see or read emails. I had to stick my face right in front of the computer to read them. I called the Dr's office and told her what was going on she switched my script and told me if my eyes don't get better to go see the eye Dr.
Two weeks later eyes were still not better my headaches were starting to fade away but still the anxiety or whatever it is. I made an appointment to go to the eye Dr. I went in filled out the paper work since I was new there and got in I saw the eye Dr and he started his exam then said he needed me to do a field test. That is where you look in the machine and you have a clicker and tell them or click when you see the dot. It tests your vision field. I did that and they kept making me wait and wait and I overheard him saying to the receptionist is she still here you didn't let her leave did you? I was like oh no and started freaking out a bit. He finally called me back in he looked into my eyes and said my optic nerve was extremely elevated and something was causing pressure in my head so I needed to go to the ER immediately and find out what was wrong.
When he told me that I flipped out and started crying almost uncontrollably and the poor Dr was lie oh no I'm sure its ok but you have to get it checked out! I told him I was sorry for crying but that my mom has a brain tumor and that's why I flipped out. In my head I immediately went to I have a tumor and just freaked. I texted my boyfriend at the time and told him what was going on he met me at the eye Dr's office and took me to the ER.
The people at the ER were very nice but kind of didn't know what to do so they did a CAT scan and took a ton of blood and tested me for a ton of things. The CAT scan came back and there was nothing there except some areas of extra spinal fluid around my brain. The blood tests were all normal except I was anemic which I have been since I was 15. The ER Dr wanted to do a spinal tap which freaked me out because on TV and in the movies they make it out to be the most painful thing. I wouldn't let them do one I asked them "If I promise to go to my regular Dr and tell them whats happening and they get me into a neurologist can I go home?" He told me yes so I went home and the next day I went to my regular Dr who made me an appointment to see a neurologist the following day.
Ok this is part 1 I have anxiety and while I thought writing a blog would help at the moment recalling all of this causes anxiety and panic attacks so this will be a slow process of blogging/journaling everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment